Ulan

Rainy days are here again. Gotta love the different milieus only possible when it pours.

Cushion

Falling flat on your face has the surprising effect of showing the true colors of the people around you. I have succumbed to my temper the past few days and I got mixed reactions for the way I have been. Some friends just walked away. Some give you a kiss on the forehead and tell you that you did the right thing only to comfort you. Some would even say something as harsh as they themselves would’ve punched you in the face without even trying to comprehend nor assess anything. But there will always be that one truthful soul that will stick it out with you. Even through thick stubbornness and the vast gap in wavelength; clashes of tempers and frustrations, that person is still there. Waking you up instead of sympathizing.. Constructively arguing with you instead of preaching.. Tapping your chin up instead of giving you faux sips of comfort. I never had the experience to have somebody to do those things. I just hope it lasts.

Vlowjob wins Ian Parry Grant

Congratulations to my good friend Vicente Jaime Villafranca, pictured here right after getting the call from Magnum’s Jonas Bendiksen, for winning the 2008 Ian Parry Scholarship. Also known as Herman Araro, this 26 year-old photojournalist who was a former underwear billboard model (sorry man, it’s such a nice trivia about you!) and part-time pimp bagged the prestigious grant via his Gangs of Baseco photo story.

As seen on
http://www.pdnonline.com/pdn/search/…_id=1003825179

VJ Villafranca Wins Ian Parry Scholarship
July 07, 2008
By Daryl Lang

Photographer Vicente Jaime “VJ” Villafranca has won the 2008 Ian Parry Scholarship.
The prize awards £3,000 ($5,900) to a photographer attending a full-time photographic course or under the age of 24. Villafranca plans to use the award to fund a project in Myanmar.
Villafranca, 26, is a freelance photographer in Manila, Philippines and a former student at the Asian Center for Journalism, Ateneo De Manila University. His portfolio includes portraits of gang members who live in downtown Manila.
Runners up for the prize include Gianni Cipriano (highly commended), Matt EichGratiane de Moustier (commended).
The scholarship is given in memory of Ian Parry, who died in 1989 at age 26 while on assignment for (commended) and The Sunday Times during the Romanian revolution. The Sunday Times Magazine publishes the work of all the finalists.
The work will also be on view at the Getty Images Gallery in London from for two weeks beginning August 7.
Previous Ian Parry Scholarship winners include Ivor Prickett, Irina Werning, Arantxa Cedillo, David Høgsholt, Leonie Purchas, Jonas Bendiksen and Zijah Gafic.
more from : http://www.gmanews.tv/story/106170/Pinoy-lensman-bags-coveted-Ian-Parry-award

Congratulations again man, turbo na yan!

Typhoon Frank

Alcohol can have such a galvanizing effect on one’s musing. Here I am sloshed on this potent truth serum. It’s been a couple of weeks since I covered typhoon Frank’s bedlam in Manila and I just got this really interesting inquiry from a person through Flickr. She asked me in verbatim “Are they ok with you taking their picture when they’re in pain like that? They don’t get mad at you? I was just curious how you were able to get such an intimate shot.” It was the first time I really got asked like that and it made me realize a lot of thing with regards to what I do.

I believe that us as humans are curiously inquisitive by nature. We always thirst for information and cognition of this world that we live in. And photojournalists have a daunting task to quench that thirst for multifarious individuals around this world. I became one because I wanted to satisfy my yearning to see and experience this life that i live in firsthand. I never imagined that I would be the eyes for a profusion of populace.



This is the reason why my calling as a photojournalist has always been devoted to the accounts of the subjects I get to catch sight of and not at all for personal glorification. Nevermind the by-lines, credits or whatever, what’s important is that people get to see a glimpse of what’s happening to the world they live in. At least I know within me that is how I do it day to day. I believe that these situations and events need to be seen by people and there has to be individuals who are willing to go out and get those images and stories. Whether it’s through Facebook, Flickr or the front page of the Herald Tribune; it does not really matter. These realities are worth sharing.



This was my first time to really cover a disaster. I know for my more experienced colleagues at work, this was just another one. But for me, it was such a learning experience where I got exposed to different actualities of life and the emotions that can be generated by such an event. Shooting the floods and how people coped with it was the start. The heavy part came when Sulpicio’s MV Princess of the Stars, a passenger ship, capsized off the coast of Cebu during the storm’s wrath. It was haunting really, as I took this photo of Alaysa Caranoo holding a photo of her brother who was on board the ship. She didn’t have any idea what happened and all she knew was that she and her family was just waiting for the ship to arrive.



We were assigned to cover as relatives of the passengers on board the ship who flocked Sulpico’s terminal to wait for further information regarding their loved ones. There was so much anguish and distress. The place was filled with melancholic dejection. The first few days had hope filling the atmosphere but as days passed, hope turned into despair as time leisurely ticked by painfully for those hopes to fade away.



It was hard. Hard to stick up a camera to somebody grieving a relative’s loss. Hard looking at the wall set up with all the photographs of the passengers missing. All with smiles and candidness on their faces.. Taken at precious moments when they never thought that something this tragic would ever transpire. But us photojournalist have the responsibility to show this to the world. Their grief, their torments.. Their moments of hope. This experience made me realize that that path I chose is not just all about taking photographs. We have the ability to show a lot of people what our own eyes saw and reflect the feelings we had and experienced through the photographs that we took.


My heart, my sympathy and respect go out to all those who went through the inconceivable pain of loss of this tragedy.

Day's Work

I was really excited when I woke up today since there were no schedules and I had the day free to do features. Another reason was my boss Darren lent me his 5D and I wanted to experiment with it since it was really the first time to use it for work. So I decided to visit my friends under the bridge. It was quite some time since I last saw them and I was happy to go back. I started the day with five shots of gin that were offered to me by familiar faces as I got there. I couldn’t say no since I found it impolite to refuse. It was really funny to be starting the day pretty buzzed.

First thing that caught my attention was this lady who kept her baby nearby on a makeshift hammock as she did their laundry. She has been living there for over 10 years and has three other kids who grew up there. To my surprise she told me that she saw me and a couple of photos of mine from Mabuhay magazine, the on-flight magazine of Philippine airlines. One of her neigbors goes to work in the airport and got a copy of it. It was really touching to know that they remembered who I was.



I was starting to feel the warmth of the gin shots as I started to move about the area. I knew I had this silly smile on my face already. It was my first time to see the water level come up like this. Kids were playing a game of billiards mixed with a card game. And they were doing it before heading to school. Some were headed off to school already as I made my way under the bridge.



What was interesting to me is that how the residents here live pretty normal lives despite the conditions. Everything they basically need was available. There was electricity; televisions; convenience stores and even karaokes and arcade games. One would usually be caught in the middle whether to think if it’s a good thing or bad. It’s like a thin line between satisfaction and desperation. When asked, most of them said that they didn’t have a choice but be content with their situation. It was resiliency for me, for them to be able to live normal lives and be such hospitable people as well.



One would generally have a notion that these kinds of dwellings house thugs, pushers and addicts. I did, way way back. Yes, there were a lot there but as I saw this girl studying her school textbook, it personally gave me a sense of contrast to the conventional perception. That there are young children who still dream to have and finish their education despite the overwhelming odds. A lot of them believe that education is the one thing that will get them a better life than what they currently have. I was struck and at the same time felt guilty when I got a taste of their conviction since all throughout my student life I believed that education is merely a formality that is not needed in life.



I thought I was going to be spending most of my day there and get to know more of the residents when all of a sudden I was assigned to shoot a press conference by Ahmed Djoghlaf, the executive director for United Nations Convention on Biological Diversity. He was in Manila to bring up the threats of global warming and to call for the ASEAN leaders to unite regarding the issue. He also pointed out the immensly polluted coastlines of our country as one of the ramifications of global warming. Press conferences are definitely one of dullest things to shoot. I was lucky that this one had adequate light and a huge print of the speaker’s surname to play with.



Manny Mogato, our writer was doing a story on Djohjlaf’s presser. And I needed photos from the polluted coastlines to illustrate it so I went to the coastal area all the way from Makati. I stopped at a bridge and saw this man who was collecting plastic recylables while being surrounded by unbelievably sullied water. I continued my drive around the coastal area and passed by this abandoned shack that I would always see everytime I pass by but never got the chance to see any person on it. I thought it was another day of not being able to see anybody there but as I looked closely, there was finally a person there. Finally I was able to make something out of it. The water was really calm and the skies were as clear as anything. Hard to believe that there’s an upcoming storm.



I had another call from my boss and this time he told me we had a story on Cebu Pacific and how they manage to keep rates down despite the severe inflation in the country. The carrier aims to maintain profit by lowering rates to amass ticket sales. I thought I was going to have such a hard time shooting Cebu Pacific planes down the runway but I saw a couple of workers finishing an ad near the airport. I couldn’t have found a better photo to accompany the story.



Today was pretty much a typical day at work. It was a good mix of shooting things I love at a personal level and of things I just shoot for work. I became a photographer to experience and see the world around me with a camer for what it’s worth first of all. Getting published is just a bonus.. an icing on the cake. Wire photographers get a lot of beef for just doing everything in a rush and not really being able to get to know the subject they are shooting. And I know I can be guilty of that. But time constraint has a lot to do with it. On a personal note, I try to know the people I shoot as much as I can. I may not know their life story or something but I try to make sure that I just don’t take and take from them. I try to share laughs with them and talk about anything under the sun with them. Even drink gin with them at 9am in the morning.

It is quite fulfilling already to be accepted by people for example, under a bridge and be remembered as somebody who cheered them up even for just a little while. Now that I am still pretty much starting, I’m at a stage when I’m still discovering the immediate area that I am living in which is Manila. But someday I know I will look for deeper, more intimate stories in the future. It will come.

06.06.08 NFA Rice

Today has got to be one of the most inauspicious days I’ve had so far. I woke up as if I had a leprechaun drilling inside my head from all the drinking last night at the oar. As usual, every Friday I have to switch cars because of coding so I had to go with the old lancer today and to my dismay it just overheated as I was already at Roxas. I didn’t have a choice but to have it fixed at a gas station. Took them two hours to fix the radiator but I was really happy that the petrol station was nearby Derek’s place so I decided to watch the NBA Finals as I waited for my car to get fixed. Celtics won, and it kept my head from loosing its cool.

My car was finally fixed and I was already driving towards the NFA warehouse in Quezon City when all of a sudden my air conditioning lost any signs of chill. And it was freaking hot! Fuckin torture I tell ya. Four hours in a sauna car under the wrath of the blazing sun as I drove all the way from Manila to Quezon City to Makati and then back home to Alabang - all under unbelievable traffic and heat. Even the fact that I got pretty okay photos for today couldn’t pacify the vexation caused by the broken air conditioning.



My assignment today was to shoot the long lines at the NFA warehouse. As I got back home and reviewed my photos, I couldn’t imagine why I was ranting like a hell just because my air conditioning broke down. I was really saddened by the sight of people having to line up for hours and hours just to have rice on the table for dinner. People ran, trying to get ahead of one another every time the gates open for the next batches of purchasers. Tensions filled the lines especially when overtakers try to sneak in. Tired and exhausted faces were predominant among the smiling ones, evident from the mixture of characters; from the elderly to the infats who were present in the seemingly never ending lines. The sight of relief uttered in the faces of the buyers struck me.Finally they could go home after a long wait in line.



Majority of them go through this process every single day. We have been doing rice photos for months already and it has been quite mechanical the past weeks. From different locations such as Banaue, markets, rice fields for the rice crisis assignments but I don’t think nothing made me realized how serious this is other than the faces of people I would see in line. Ever since rice prices started to soar, thousands of Filipinos have flocked the NFA warehouses and stall to be able to purchase subsidized rice. Most of us, or I would bet, anybody who could read this blog would never have to experience lining up for rice.



Basked in luxury, people usually end up complaining more. Even in the most puerile of things. Living in comfort possess nothing wrong as my good friend Happy would say it. Imagining yourself into the lives of those who do not have as such can sound selfish, but really can bring about different insights and understanding of others - as well as the self. We now live in trying times, especially in the Philippines. And being naive about what is happening can be a snag for anybody.

05.29.08 Econ Feature

Economy assignments are usually the dullest ones. Peso exchange rates, oil prices, corporate transactions.. It’s an onus that all the wire photographers have to do. I hate that sometimes I spend my whole day just to look for these photos. But it was quite interesting today what I got. It was already past lunch and I didn’t quite have the photo I was looking for yet, and I was getting frustrated. So I went to the usual money changer spots in Malate. It was a last resort since money changer pix are one too many already. And I hate being repetitive. As I was waiting for somebody to pass the exchange rate sign in Malate, I had my eyes locked in the viewfinder and not able to see what was coming. Usually I keep both eyes open to see what’s going on outside the frame but for some reason I didn’t. And to my surprise, I saw a nun pass by and all of a sudden I found myself a photo. Luck does play a huge part with photography. Yes it’s kinda plain, but it’s far different from what I would usually get. I guess you could call it a case of divine intervention.. ;p

Sips of Tranquility

I never thought honeyed tea can be so comforting. As I took sip after sip, it was a wonderful moment to reflect on the wisdom and insights that I have gained today. I was delighted in every tune that I heard, the mild smiles I got from strangers and even the blissfuly simple laughs of children as I passed them by on the streets, asking to be photographed. I enjoyed looking around Manila’s clutteredness to find something new, something I have never seen before. Being in the Cavite area failed to give my heart a sinking feeling, and it was great. The sky was blue again, but the blueness did not contemplate the sadness of goodbye anymore. Today and the sunset was majestic as I drove back home. The warmth of the sun’s glorious orange made me look forward to tomorrow instead of sulk in yesterday’s grief. The Davids did wonders for me again, even if the two were miles apart I had them both right in front of me through technology. Jake’s antics helped too. Amazing isn’t it? I am getting back my stride again, and am looking forward to better things. Tea and honey never felt so good.

Tondohan

It is an innate perception amongst Filipinos that Tondo is a haven for crooks, thugs and criminals. My job as a photojournalist has taken me to so many different niches in our society that I could have never have seen or experienced if not for the profession.

My usual drive around Manila to look for a picture led me to a desolate compound that is occupied a range of people ranging from the relocated to the derelicts. The compound was very surreal and photographically phantasmagorical. The way the light hit different corners and areas of the compound was fantastic. So many colors and most of all, so many different things to see. The residents there primarily thrive on garbage to sell as recyclables. Everywhere you look, there was somebody probing through assemblage of garbage collected from the nearby dump site. Residents collected and segregated everything from scrap metals to plastic bottles and products. There was an area where a woman re-cooks food scraps recovered from fast-food restaurant discards and children lining up to have a share. There were small businesses such as pool hall, a sari-sari store and even a playstation gaming area. It was really more of a community within their own.



The compound was literally a factory of children. Babies, infants and toddlers scattered all throughout the litter encompassed dwelling. The unnerving part was where the people were sniffing glue. From children to the grown-ups, it was such a wonted thing in the area. The fact that it was something so accepted really shocked. I had to ask them why they do it. Most of them said that sniffing glue appeased their hunger. Some said they just wanted to do so to pass time. As i countinued to make an ocular of the area, I was acquiring stares and taunts. To be honest, I must say that I was afraid to not make it out of the place alive. I started to talk to the residents there and that’s where everything changed.



It was a surprise to me that people there were quite receptive. It is true that the atmosphere of the place is nothing short of petrifying. But once the quintessential language of a simple smile broke all the barriers of unfamiliarity, I was shown a different side of Tondo from what we all generally know. They welcomed me into their makeshift houses with warmth and they were very open to share their stories with me. The most heartwarming thought was when a family offered me food and drink when themselves have none. They made sure I was comfortable as I could be even in such a place. That simple gesture of kindness made a mark within me. A mark that I will never forget. At first I said to myself not to go back there anymore, but I found myself coming back over and over again.



I saw sorrow and despair through every person I got to talk to. Everybody had a different story, a different scenario. But something that binded them all was that they all had hope. Hope of a better future. Hope of a better life even through the pungent smell of garbage. Yes, they admitted that there are some who live by miscreant means, but it was just a small part of their community. Most of them still believe that living an honest life will still reap its rewards. If not here on earth, maybe some place after. Through all of the hardships, they also admitted that they were content. Collecting and selling garbage gave them a more dependable means of living making them satisfied with their current arrangements therefore making the option of having a real job impracticable.



Life can have a funny way of manifesting its beauty. Behind all the masks and clouds that surround how we generally percieve Tondo, I saw and experienced the uncanny Filipino trait of resilience and hope despite all odds. Most people there suffer and go through the pangs of poverty not through criminal means but with dignity - even if it means digging through heaps and heaps of garbage. For me , the experience was about the irony of seeing life’s beauty behind its ugliness and despair. Tondo’s not so bad after all.

Transgendered Santacruzan

Some of my good friends are have already begun to describe my blog as a drama-rama one. They’re right, it has been.. About time I start writing something else in it already. Last week I was assigned to shoot a transgendered Santacruzan over at Quezon City. What’s so special about it? A lot - both personally and for anybody getting to read this.

One cannot deny the fact that transgendered individuals here in the Philippines are subjected to enormous discrimination. Yes, they enjoy a lot of acceptance as well but majority still fall under the bad side of prejudice. I, for one, is somebody who didn’t like the thought of gay people existing in this world (well except for hot lesbians). A harsh fact about me but that mentality was brought about bad experiences with transgendered men from different places from the campus to the saunas in gyms. And no, I wasn’t raped or anything, but believe me, it would’ve gone there. That’s why I don’t think I can be blamed for generalizing them as such given all the negative experiences. So I must admit that I was sort of a homophobic as I was on my way to the location.



As I got there, I just wanted to get good photos and not even bother talking to them as thoughts of negativity regarding transgendered individuals permeate my rationality. I went around the room as if I was just some photographer wanting to get the job done, not even acknowledging the smiles, the greetings and the occasional flirting from the participants. But as my friend Juan started to talk to some of them, I overheard an interesting topic from their conversation. And it had something to do with the church strongly opposing what they are doing.

The particular event is called “Flores de Mayo”. It i a local festival celebrated during the month of May in honor of the Virgin Mary that usually has women as participants, making the transgendered go against tradition by being the ones to culminate the event. As i got into the conversation, I saw that they were simply fighting for what they believed in. Being the predominant Catholic country that we are, the church was making it seem as if it was taboo to do so. And I found it to be very unfair. Unjust even.



The conversation went on as heavy rains postponed the start of the event. I eventually eased up and asked so many questions like how much they spent on to look the way they do; why they chose to be the way they are; all the types of discrimination they experience and even how far they’ve gone in terms of sugery. They were very interesting and substancial individuals and for once in my life, I wasn’t afraid of them. Some spent fifty thousand pesos just on breast implants alone. And it doesn’t end there. There’s still the nose job, the chin adjustment; arms; lips - a lot. They say that they chose to be that way because it is who they are and that’s how they feel they should live - as women who are incarcerated inside bodies of men. And they do get a lot of shit for living and fighting for it. From endless ridcules to being actually beaten up by their own fathers who cannot accept the fact, it’s a tough life.

Despite all this, they all go on with smiles. Applying make-up every now and then to look their best; coming in with their best possible dresses. They were so meticulous about there looks. I guess these events bring a lot of joy and bliss for them. And I admire them a lot for doing so.



I went home that night a refreshed person who learned a lot. Refreshed because my irrational fear for the transgendered was given new light. Their stories made me want to be an advocate of their cause. Transgendered individuals have a right to live any kind of life that they want. We all do, as long as we are not stepping on other people’s feet. Convictions like these make you want to say “fuck all the stupid norms and rules, just live life”. Malice set aside, they are all beautiful people. Beautiful people who have every right to walk this land as much as you and I. Even the the head of the Catholic church.

Moonburnt

Loss is an aspect of life I never had a problem dealing with all throughout my years of being. I’ve quit and moved on so many things with just a snap of a finger. From past relationships, soccer and basketball varsity teams; being a wedding photographer; different sets of friends.. Almost everything I’ve learned to love and clung onto. I believe I’ve let off one too many a thing in one way or another. So much that I’ve become a master of it contriving it.

Tonight I found myself basking under the gleam of the moonlight sky. The full moon has always been a hallmark of solace for me. As I stared at it, random thoughts of things past engulfed my lone contemplation. None more than staring at the same entity from a park in Baguio just around this same time a month ago, eating a crappy order of lechon that never tasted so good unless shared with somebody. I was so satisfied and I never felt that I belonged anywhere else. I’ve begun to ask myself why I can’t seem to get these thoughts out of my system when I should’ve ages ago. And at a sudden I realized that I’m still pretty much caught up inside a web of emotions. Emotions that I would’ve easily shut off shortly after the moments of loss. But then this case is different. And alas, it occurred to me that I’m trying to get over a loss of something I never really had in the first place..

In Good Company

My career as a photographer started from very humble beginnings. I first held a camera late 2006 and I shot everything as a plaintive young hobbyist would - landscapes, events, still life.. even a frustrated try at fashion. A lot of edgy shit. I lived and died to upload my stuff to flickr, multiply and yes, dpp. And then came a stable yet short career as a wedding photographer. During those times, I grew up idolizing this group of young photographers in the Philippines. I never had any foreign influences so they were the closest thing I have for inspiration. I always had this high regard for them and their works I would usually stalk thinking someday I could accomplish something like they have in their respective fields. At a young age, they were able to do so much - travel a lot, have their photos placed on billboards and countless glossies.. Stuff like that. I must admit I was a fanboy of theirs. Jake for his photos of the monks; Paolo for his jail photos; Buck’s gritty documentaries and his inclusion in asef; Bahag for his editorial works; Juan for his avant-garde works; Veejay for his Jolo slideshow in Mogwai; Tammy for her shots in Cambodia and yes, her scarves. These were the images and works that pushed me to try and make something out of myself. Not Nachtwey’s, not Stanmeyer’s, not Salgado’s nor anybody else’s during that time. Never have I expected to be actually hanging out with the same people I grew up to admire. I know this entry is kinda gay, but I’m just keeping it real.

Throughout my life I have had so many groups, so many friends. From people who did nothing but copulation and drugs, to the beautiful people who care nothing about but to live life like one big party.. I guess I have met them all. It’s a very nice thought to have that I finally found people who I believe can keep it real. Regardless of their achievements or status. “Come as you are” is the kind of welcome I got from them. For the few months I’ve been with them, I can say that I find a lot of comfort and equanimity in their company. They have helped me get through a lot, just like a cushion when you need one. From my stupidities at work, to quandaries with the heart. I can’t remember a time when none of them were there. We all, as humans have the inevitable thirst to belong. And it’s such a comforting truth that I quench that yearning through them. Maraming salamat.

Recuperation

I have locked myself in the confides of my room the past three days. Still trying to unburden myself to the company of countless packs of cigarettes.. Glasses of juice and yes, dharma down to soundtrack my seclusion. I love dharma down since I feel myself and my emotions analogous to the guitars and beats. Lively yet still so dismal. Somehow the four corners of my room is my shield to all the ruckus that is happening outside. But I found a different kind of ruckus occurring; the kind that comes from within. April and the early parts of May has been quite the roller coaster ride for me, and I needed to hide.

I have always believed that life can work itself out if you give it a chance. That is why I fight for certain things in life even though I am mindful to the thought that I am to fall flat on my face if I do. I have been driven by my heart all throughout my life. I have been a slave to what it has to impose. Cynical might be the perfect word for me right now. Hence the reason why I am trying to numb my heart. I need to find comfort in solitude once more. It may sound harsh, stupid even but I think it’s time to put reason and rationality back on the wheel and let my emotions take the back seat. The previous driver always resulted into fun and exciting trips and adventures.. But inevitably led to total wrecks.

I took the photo above during my trip to Banaue last month. That photo has always been a reflection of how amazing that particular trek to terraces was. I have never felt so alive, so ebullient. Especially with a person. That’s when I decided to let my guard down and just let go. Succumb to all the wishes and desires of that thing that beats within my chest, thinking that everything will work out well if I gave it a chance. So I did. And now I am flat on my face. I thought it was my time but I guess not yet.

Moments of magic give us an illusion that life can be so perfect and so right. But we all have to say our goodbyes to something at one time or another. And now I part ways with another bittersweet chapter of my life. A chapter which taught me a lot of things including the fact that I could still feel something so real and so spontaneous about something. A story which had derailed me at the same time gave me a fresh perspective on both love and life. A story that I wish to forget but will stay with me for a lifetime. It has the borderline of regret and satisafaction. Bittersweet I tell you.

Gising Na

Things haven’t been in the best of means these past weeks. In terms of work, it has been fantastic but personally it has been a different thing. Today I woke up a sick man and screwed it up by missing my 9am assignment at the stock exchange. Woke up with a fever at 9:30 and had ten missed calls from my boss. I knew that I was in deep crap after that. I was devastated to have the first real fuck-up of my career with Reuters but Pat and Veejay assured me that it’s an understandable case. Which eased my mind - for the moment.

I find myself alone at home. Being alone is something I am accustomed to.. Or at least I thought. Ever since I took this job. Now I am trying to find solace through puffs from countless cigarettes, a glass of grape juice and to the soundtrack of up dharma down. It’s slowly sinking in that yeah, I have lost my focus and my comfort in solitude. I am restless. Always looking for that feeling I have experienced with somebody. Somebody I don’t think I could ever truly have. Ever since that, I haven’t been the same person. I was happy when it all started. But I never thought that happiness can have a very high price.

Reality always has a funny way of kicking in. Especially when we need it the most. Maybe this fever is what I needed. I needed to be stuck at home and by myself. Not with work.. Not with parties.. Not with anything else but my self. I can’t forever be captive to the false promises of the present only to wake up to the stark realities of a painful future. Even if it feels so right. Even if it feels so good. I have been thinking and driven primarily by my heart the past month. And I have made one too many irrationalities just to give in to my emotions. We all need to be a fool sometimes. It’s now time wake up. I’ve had my fun. Back to reality.

04.26.08 Greenbelt Art Feature

Sometimes the nice photos come out from simplicity. I was assigned to shoot this art event at Greenbelt wherein the participants get to doodle on a provided wall in the atrium. The story is that a group of artists want to encourage doodling especially with children in order to promote and develop their creativity, expression, talents and all. Maybe the next big cartoon hit is simply hiding behind all those drawings. It was fun to see all those kids and adults draw and doodle with gusto. I couldn’t resist and I had to doodle something as well. It was fun but somehow I felt sad because I don’t think I spent my childhood days very well. I don’t even remember finishing one coloring book. I was always in a hurry to grow up and do things that older kids did.

My other colleagues thought that it was a waste of time so they didn’t even bother. I just went there to have a look and it looked pretty boring - photographically that is. But it was different. And ever since I had been working in the wires, there’s no sweeter challenge for me other than to be different. That’s one of the best things Darren instilled into my mind. I had to wait for the wall to fill up with doodles and once it was done, I saw this little girl who kept on running in front of the completed work. I really liked the photo and I’m glad I stayed. The photo turned out in washington post’s best of the day.

03.01.08 Manila Ocean Park

Today was great. I was really exhausted from yesterday’s protest coverage at Ayala and I was so happy to be able to do something different from hard news. Went out to shoot the soft opening of the Manila Ocean Park over at Luneta. Dragged Tammy’s lazy ass again once more and met up with Pat, Rolex and Rem at the place.



The visit didn’t start out well. Tammy and I were refused entry when we got there. And being the tired, stressed ass that I was earlier today, I really got irritated with the security guard. It was great that Armi, one of the marketing managers was kind and nice enough to accommodate us. Another instance was when I almost got into a fight with this dad. I accidentally tripped on his kid as I was chasing sting-rays for photos. I apologized immediately but he started to curse me and even shouted at me in front of everybody. I mean I know I was wrong and he had all the reasons to get mad, but not to put up a scene like that. We almost fought if Tammy didn’t break us off. That particular incident really threw me off. I was so pissed that my mind wasn’t working right. Was getting frustrated because I couldn’t seem to get good photos that I wanted. Eventually Tams calmed me down and pushed me to work my ass off. I really love her for that. She may be the bluntest knife in the drawer but she is a really good friend. I eventually got some pix that I was happy with.



The place was packed. As in sardinas packed. But everybody looked so happy and fascinated. Especially the kids. Loved this photo but I wish the Lion fishes were more pronounced. I guess their camouflage works well. Reuters put this out on the editor’s choice slideshow. Scenes were this were common. It was really a warm sight.One of the most popular attractions there were the sting-rays. I loved the area where the Groupers were at as well. Silhouttes were aplenty.



I must say that it was quite an experience. To see different species of fishes up close is something that everybody should try. The Ocean Park’s still not completely finished and their crowd management should be improved. It’s a must see but be prepared to be hassled on the way in.

Slow Day

Didn’t have work today and was pretty bored. Our dog Bono’s growing so fast and I wanted to take photos of him before he grows up and not be cute anymore. Same thought applied for my sister.. :)

EDSA

A soldier manning EDSA shrine.

Lozada at Ateneo

Jun Lozada’s gotta be the most photographed person in the Philippines today. For those who didn’t know, Lozada is a former government official whose testimony in a corruption probe has triggered political scandal in the Philippines. Lozada is the probe’s star witness as he told senators that Romulo Neri, Philippine president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s economic planning chief, had wanted to resign due to controversy over the state’s $329 million deal with China’s ZTE Corporation which was allgedly overpriced by $130 million to fund kickbacks.

Getting him at Ateneo was quite an accident really as we were there to cover the candle-lighting thing. Met up with my good friend and now a hepekpek Buck Pago. It would’ve been such a bore if he wasn’t there. I also realized that I badly needed a ladder. It’s such an advantage. I love how you can just sit down and rest anywhere you want to and the instantaneous change in angles in offers you. Angles like this won’t be possible without one. One of my favorites from the night.

I also got to play around with my 85. Loving what it can do.. It’s just kinda hard to get its focus to hit at wide open. The focus area is literally paper thin at 1.2 but when it hits, it can be pretty nice. Still wondering if I should have gotten the 24 L instead. But same shit. I’d be wanting an 85L if I got the other one anyway. After everything was said and done, Lozada looked like a happy and rejuvenated man - even just during the exit. One can’t deny the deepness of the shit he’s in. Everybody knows he’s in trouble if this whole thing goes nowhere. After a long and exhausting day at the senate, I guess he ended his day well.

The Lozada issue has been nothing short of a circus and a frenzy. We are dying to follow his every step and breath now that the issue is still pretty hot. But it makes me wonder what will be of him when this dies down. Will he and the issues he has brought up that made him the moment’s hero just vanish into thin air if something bigger comes up? It is a sick characteristic of the media in my own personal opinion. I know I am still new to the profession and I barely know how it all works but as early as now, I don’t think its a practice that should be accepted.



It was quite a day for me as well. Day started at 6am just to get to the office of the Ombudsman at 8 sharp only to find out the whole thing starts at 10am. Had this one shot that I really liked.. A grab of Joey De Vencia where he got framed by Abalos and his counsel as they chatted. I then had to run all the way to the senate to shoot a shitty protest by pro-administration supporters. Then to Ateneo to cover this. Talk about touring Manila. Day ended at 12am. Me and Buck hung around this coffee shop he frequents to somewhere in QC to file our stuff. It was a nice place, and it was good to have some stupid conversations and laughs with him after not seeing him for quite some time. The people I get to work with is an enormous part of work as well for they can really make this tough job fun and worthwhile. It’s just another day of work, but I admit it can get tiring. The discipline is great, but it really is a tough job. No wonder a lot of people don’t like it and can’t see the point. I’m glad I’m still surviving. Hope all of this pays off.